Simple Living with Wanda Urbanska

Wanda's Diary Entries

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Two kisses or three? That is the question in Poland. When leaving the States, my friend Wes in Chicago kissed me on the cheeks, three times. For those uninitiated in the ways of Continental kissing, let me provide detail. The kisses start on one cheek, move to the next, then end up on the first. Wes informed me that this is the Polish custom of greeting and farewelling friends. (While this was not new information, I was happy to be reminded!)

Upon arriving in Warsaw, my 28-year-old niece Ewa greeted me at the airport and along with cousin Monika helped settle me into my new digs in a townhouse in Bielany. As Ewa was starting to leave Henry’s and my new home away from home, we kissed. I was in the know. I kissed her on the cheeks three times. She shot me a look, then informed me that Poles kiss only twice: back and forth from one check to the next. That’s the way they kiss in France, she said. This current — EU — way of kissing has become the Polish way, she stated unequivocally.

Wes, who hasn’t lived in Poland for decades, must be hopelessly out of date, I figured. Or maybe, because he is in his 70s, his custom is quite simply old school.

Armed with this new information, upon meeting and enjoying lively exchanges with my landlady’s sons, Pawel, 28, and Wojtek, 32, I bade them farewell with twin kisses.

Wojtek gave me a long, puzzled look, as if trying to calculate whether he dare correct me here. “Poles deliver three kisses,” he finally said. “It’s Polish custom.”

So which is it? Two or three?

What do I know? Don’t tell me that even Poles have become so time-starved that they’re going to shave mili-seconds from their ceremonial kisses. Since this seems to be a largely subjective matter, here’s the verdict from this newcomer who has come to Poland to drink in the culture.

Stick with tradition. When in doubt — with kisses if not pastries — more is better. Yes, admittance into the EU has by and large been a good thing for Poland. But let Poles keep their customs. The French certainly will theirs. Maximize the moment. I say, three are better than one!